When it comes to dating the first few weeks are exciting and intoxicating. This makes it very difficult for one to spot a bad or toxic relationship earlier on which is why sometimes 6 months down the line when all the pretenses have been dropped you realize this is not what you wanted and that the relationship is not good for you.
However, there are some red flags you can spot at the beginning of a relationship that will help you know that the relationship is not good for you. These are usually clear indicators of what is to come and might help you decide whether you should find someone else.
Here are some of the red flags to look out for when you start dating
1. They are rude to people around them
One of the best ways to know someone character is to see how they treat those around them. You cannot conclude that a person is good just because they are being nice to you; this is because during the beginning of a relationship most people tend to pretend because they want to impress you.
Read Also: 5 Terrible Places To Go On A First Date
However, they can never hide their true nature when associating with other people and this is what you need to look out for. For example, the person you are dating might be very nice to you but is very rude to the taxi driver, the waiter or even complete strangers.
This means that they will transfer this behavior to you once you are past the getting to know you stage. Personally, once I notice something like I end it, you don’t want to be stuck dating a rude person with no sense of decency.
2. They are a financial mess
Imagine dating someone who is always taking you out to fancy places or is dressed in fancy clothes but ends up borrowing money from you and never pays it back.
This is a clear sign that this person has no sense of financial responsibility which is honestly not a trait you want in your significant other.
It doesn’t matter how much money the person has, it is how they spend it that will really tell you whether this person is ready for something serious or not.
3. Your dates are never planned in advance
I don’t know about you but I’m a stickler for planning. I do not do random meet-ups unless we actually happen to bump into each other in the street. No matter how busy you get you will always make time for what is important, therefore, if you want to meet me on Saturday for example, I expect that you have created the time which means you can let me know at the beginning of the week or at least 2 days before.
If the person you are dating is always inviting you out at the last minute yet plans with their friends or colleagues always happen weeks or days before then this is a clear indicator that you are not very important to this person.
4. You are not meeting their friends
This one is a bit tricky because you also don’t want to move too fast but you should also feel like you are part of this person’s life. As your relationship progresses you need to have met this person’s friends. If the person doesn’t want you to meet the friends or even family then it means that they are hiding something or they are not very serious about the relationship.
5. They are selfish
A relationship involves two people, this means that decisions need to be made by both of you and if your relationship is always about your partner and their happiness then this is a one-sided relationship that is not healthy for you.
For example, are all your dates on your partner’s schedule; is everything you do about pleasing the other person? The person you are dating should also be interested in you and considerate of your feeling as well.
It’s however important to remember that just because you noticed one red flag doesn’t mean that you should end the relationship. Depending on the situation and red flag you spotted, the person could just be trying really hard to impress you and they are just nervous.
Everyone has faults even you, it is up to you to decide what you can and can’t handle as a fault in the person you are in a relationship with.