I have to find a place to stay over the weekend. Dave’s friends are having a party and of course without asking me he volunteered the apartment. This however doesn’t make me as mad as having to figure out where I’m staying over the weekend.
If it was one of the friends I liked, I would have resorted to staying locked up in the bedroom while they have their party. See I don’t really mind the noise I’m a heavy sleeper.
But no it had to be Lisa. Oh what I feel for that girl is not even hatred. Some would call it jealousy but I have seen the way she looks at Dave, I know she wants him. I would be crazy to trust her even a bit. So I can’t stay here but I have nowhere to go.
Dave on the hand doesn’t seem to even care that he has displaced me, I say me because I know for a fact that he will be attending this party no matter how hard he tries to deny it. He still thinks I believe everything he says.
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You might be wondering why I’m still with him even though I don’t trust a word he says, well the answer to that is really simple, I’m not strong enough to leave and I’m not ashamed to admit that. I still love him.
We have been together 3 years now and I feel like ending will mean I wasted three years of my life and I do not want to have to start over again with someone new. So I stay and silently hope that one day I will be able to walk out.
I always thought it would be us till the very end. I thought I would be having his babies. This 5 foot 9 man with dark hair, light skin, big brown eyes and the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. How it breaks my heart every time I realize he is not who I thought he was.
On days like these I wish we could go back to the beginning where everything was easy and we were so in love. I know he loves me but it’s different now. He has changed and I do not know what to do about that.
So instead of focusing on all that, I focus on finding a place to stay this weekend. That is the only way I won’t cry myself to sleep tonight, it’s the only way to stay sane and it’s the only thing keeping me from breaking down.