She sits in her corner listening to the argument. No matter how hard she tries, she can’t sleep. She has never wished for sleep as much as she does now. Falling asleep would drown the noise, she can go back to her beautiful dreams where nothing is wrong and they are all happy.
‘I will kill you’ she heard the man say, that sent a chill down her spine. How can he say that he is supposed to be her protector, her white knight, how can he say such a thing to her mother?
The man in question is her father and just like previous nights she has to listen to her parent’s fight over nothing and everything. She wished she had earphones that would help drown out the noise the only problem is she’s 9 and she doesn’t have earphones let alone a phone.
So all she can do is sing to herself and hope that they will be done soon.
‘Let’s see who will die first she hears her mom respond. What is wrong with them, did they forget there is a 9-year-old in the next room, how can they mention death so casually?
She is so scared that they might try to kill each other now, that she doesn’t even want to sleep. She just wants to stay awake so that she can be able to intervene if necessary.
What can a 9-year-old really do if it comes down to it? She has no idea, but she still has to be strong for her mom.
Life has always been like this, for as long as she can remember, which isn’t much since the only memory she has when she was less than five years old is that of violence and screaming.
To this day she can still hear her mom screaming outside the house, she can hear her sister waking the nanny up to open the door.
‘Shiro, wake up and open the door or mom is going to be killed.’
Would she have said that if she knew her little sister was awake? This was the case every night and that is all she remembers.
No happy memories of her playing with her friends, going to school, celebrating a birthday or even playing with her father.
But who is to blame? Who should shoulder all the blame for her misery? Even she can’t find an answer to that question.
Should she blame her dad for beating her mom? Or should she blame her mom for staying with him and subjecting her to such a life?
I guess the bright side is that he did not hurt her. Or at least she doesn’t remember him ever physically hurting her.
So she stares at the ceiling in the dark waiting for the quiet to come or sleep to overcome her. Here in her bed, she vows not to put her children through the same. They will have happy lives and happy memories.
Then she realizes it has been quiet for a while. Her parents are asleep or so she hopes. Then she proceeds to cry herself to sleep not wanting to face tomorrow and the arguments that come with it.
Thanks for reading
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