A good friend can bring joy and comfort into your life as well as help you live longer; a 10-year long study showed that people with solid friends were 22% more likely to live longer. A bad friend does exactly the opposite and these are the toxic friendships you need to get out of.
Not every friend you have is good for you; remember when your parents would prevent you from becoming friends with certain people? At the time it seemed like they were just being paranoid or mean but in reality, they were right.
My point is, not every friend you have is good for you, and you have to be very particular about who you bring into your life. However, most people don’t like ending such friendships, according to Dr. Irene S. Levine Psychologist and author of Best Friends Forever, people are afraid to end friendships because of social stigma.
What are some of the signs of a toxic friendship?
1. It is always about them never about you
This is a clear sign that your friendship is toxic. Friends are supposed to be there for each other this means it’s a give and take, if your friendship is all about the other person, their wins, losses and everything between, but never about your successes or losses; then you should let it go.
A good friend will ensure that they are there for you just as much as you are there for them, their issues should not be more important than yours. There is no point in having a relationship with this person because they will never be there for you and you deserve better.
2. There is a lot of drama
Now I enjoy dramas just as much as the next guy but only on TV, now toxic friends have a lot of drama, they are either always arguing with someone or causing problems and they will try to pull you into it.
This is bad for your own well-being because negativity will hold you down and make your life miserable which is the exact opposite of what a friendship should add to your life.
3. They put you down
A good friend will support you and needs to celebrate your achievements with you. You know your friendship is toxic when this person will never be happy for you and you will never get a compliment from them.
As a matter of fact, they are more likely to say things that hurt your feelings. You will find that you are never happy when you are around them because they make you feel bad about yourself.
4. It is always a competition
A friendship should never be a competition, yes you can challenge each other to grow and achieve big things but it becomes a toxic friendship when you are competing in your careers, love life or whatever else.
This friend tries to outdo you, if you start dating they want to date someone as well, you get engaged they want to get married before you and so on.
A healthy friendship is one where you challenge each other and when someone achieves something, you need to be happy for them, not trying to find how you will outshine them.
5. You are always fighting
Any healthy friendship is filled with disagreements. The difference between that and a toxic friendship is; unlike a healthy friendship, you usually have no idea why you are fighting or your fights are about irrelevant things.
If you have to walk on eggshells all the time because you have no idea what will start another fight then you need to reconsider your friendship.
No matter how hard it might be to let go of a friend you have come to love, sometimes you need to do so for your own well-being. That said, not everyone is perfect and sometimes your friend could be going through something which is why they are not able to be good friends, you need to put such things into consideration before you label someone a toxic friend and remove them from your life.
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